“Society is a playwright so proud of his work that even the slightest deviation from the script drives him to retaliate with the force of a natural disaster, judging blindly and killing all in his path.” — Tommy MaverickMy Productions
I had never seen anything other than the train scene and the part where Babydoll stabs Blue (that fact that I remember the characters names means that I really fucking liked this movie). I guess that this is because I missed the chance to see it in theaters with my friends and then always caught it at these points in the story when it was on TV. Basically, I did not expect to react the way that I did when the movie ended… I heard this line and started fucking CRYING HYSTERICALLY:
It just resonated with me so fucking much. Like, not even just that line, but the whole idea of being “trapped” and needing to escape. Like, I have people in my life that I can’t escape from… It’s not someone that’s trying to sexually assault me or anything like that, but it is so tough to endure. It’s one of the few movies that I never expected I’d really just GET… The other movies are “Whip It”, “American Beauty”, “Dead Poet’s Society”, and “The Last Samurai”. haha Pretty much all my favorite movies. If I am crying after seeing it and I feel like the movie was made just so I could hear that one line that changes my life, then it gets added to this list.
But yeah, I’ve been crying a lot recently for some reason… just about every day this week. Nothing even happened really… I’ve just been really sad, but not all the time… It just happens randomly. I’ll be fine and then all of a sudden just start crying. Like, last night, I was at a party, but then when I left, I just BROKE DOWN. It was terrible. It happened in a public place too, so I was pretty embarrassed, but whatever, I was drunk (I’m not seriously saying that being drunk is an excuse for anything. Just being facetious). haha It’s not very awesome, and I am sorry to anyone who has seen this happen. haha This emotion all started two weeks ago, the day that I did shrooms for the first time. It’s not because of the shrooms though… It’s because of what I LEARNED when I did them. The learning started the night before this though, when I had my friends over. We played Dance Central and drank alcohol, which was super fun. In the middle of all the fun though, I realized that I seriously NEVER get to see my friends. Kind of like the way that an old person that had been abandoned in some old people’s home would start to reminisce about about the old days… Like, when all their friends are dead and all they have left is the memories of everything they did together. Really depressing, but it’s the only accurate description. haha When I woke up the next day, this was the first thing I thought about.
So the next night, I went to a club (which I know is not a good place to do shrooms, but I wasn’t taking that much… like a gram) and decided to take the shrooms I had. I took some E too so I could dance, and I had a lot of fun, even though it was super crowded in there. By the end of the night, I learned so much about myself and all the things that were WRONG with my life. And so that’s what started the whole emotional thing. haha And then watching Suckerpunch made me write this whole thing… So yeah.